When You Feel Alone...

Grandma James and I

Two years ago today started what was to this point in my life, the hardest thing I ever had to go through.  It was two years ago today, that my Grandma James, (whom I lived with and helped care for) was admitted to the hospital in a series of events that would end with her passing 12 days later.  At first, it didn't seem too serious.  Grandma was quite ill, but she was admitted to the hospital and seemed to be improving.

Then Everything Changed.

It was so sudden.  She went from doing ok, to literally she could die at any moment and I didn't know what to do.  Though it wasn't normally the case, at that point in time, much of my family was out of town.  My Aunt (who had Grandma's power of attorney and medical proxy), Uncle, and Cousins were out of state on vacation, my brother was at his home in Ohio, my parents were at their home in West Virginia.  All the Doctors and Nurses were looking to me for answers to questions that I simply couldn't answer and I really thought I was going to fall apart.  So much had been happening up to that point that I had literally told a friend the day before that I didn't think I could handle one more thing.  I was as far down as I had ever been and didn't know what to do.  I felt utterly alone.

But I wasn't alone.  The day before I had contacted one of my Aunts on the other side of the family and asked if she would come sit with me, which she gladly did.  So when Grandma took a turn for the worse, she was there.  Right there...holding me up so I wouldn't fall.  Other family and friends started helping however possible.  People from my church showed up via text, in person, on the phone, on facebook, and let me know that they were praying for me.  And then within 12 hours all the family who had been out of State was also with me.

Psalm 94:17-19 (NIV) says:
¹⁷ Unless the Lord had given me help,
    I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
¹⁸ When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

Those words speak to me in a very special way because that is exactly how I felt two years ago.  I felt like "my foot was slipping", but true to his Word, just when I thought I would fall apart, God made sure that the support I needed would be there.  

Those next few days are a bit of a blur.  As we sat and waited for the end that we knew was drawing near for Grandma, we looked to the Lord for strength and to those around us for encouragement.  So many people...from literally all over the world, stood with us during that time.  Some were in the room with us, some were holding us in prayer from all parts of the globe, but all were with us and we felt their prayers.  

So, why write about this?  Because we all go through times where we feel alone.  Ministry is tough and while Pastors go visit their parishioners when someone is in difficult circumstances, when we Pastors are in difficult circumstances sometimes we don't know how to reach out for help. We sometimes feel like we are "just supposed to handle it" because we are the Pastor.  But I want to encourage you to remember that no matter what is happening in your life, you are not alone...and you are don't have to "just handle it" when times are hard.  Not only will God walk those difficult paths with us, if we will allow it, He will send others to walk with us as well.  But we have to be vulnerable enough to accept that help.  

Having been in the depths of confusion, frustration, sadness, and helplessness, I can attest that it's not a place I want to go to go back to, but if life takes me there again, I will continue to lean on the One who made me, but I won't be afraid to reach out for help from those He sends to walk with me.  

Have a blessed week everyone! 

Build One Another Up...

I Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (NIV)  This week, I was able to attend the CM Conference sponsored by CM Connect and this Conference is the epitome of that verse.  I always walk away encouraged and am blessed to be able to encourage others as well.   This was my fourth time at the conference and I love it more and more with each passing year.  I have been to several national conferences, but this one is special and for those of you who haven't yet attended, let me share a bit about what makes it so amazing.


It's Small.

Corinne Noble and I

Though there are several hundred people that attend the CM Conference, it still has the feel of a family reunion.  People quickly get to know each other and you make friends with lots of folks before you know it.  There are wonderful resource tables where you can pick up new curriculum, learn about music options, meet awesome Children's Evangelists and so much more.  And because it's a smaller conference, you can actually stop and chat with the people at the booth or share a meal with them at one of the After Parties so you really get to know the people behind the products.  It's a unique blessing that simply isn't easy to do at a conference attended by thousands of people.  Plus you get to meet so many amazing people in ministry.   I have friends across the country and in many denominations that I met at the CM Conference and while I keep connected with them online, I look forward to getting to see them in person every year at the CM Conference.

It offers Workshops led by Folks Just Like You

Sheree Lee, Sabrina Williams, and I

The people who are leading the workshops are sharing their expertise from the "trenches".  Most of the presenters are on staff at churches from all denominations and all sizes.  Everyone is very approachable and the information very practical.  And there are so many to choose from...seriously.  This year the workshops included topics like, Interactive Family Worship (I was honored to lead that one),  Emotional Concussions, Seasons of Ministry, Discipline, VBS, Urban Ministry, Special Needs Ministry and so much more.  If you had a ministry question, I bet there was a workshop on it. Michael Chanley and his phenomenal team do an amazing job of lining up helpful and varied workshops for this Conference each and every year.


It's EXTREMELY Budget Friendly 

Lunch with Amber Blake and Brittney Wellman

I dare you to try and find another four day conference offering more than 100 workshops that is less expensive than this conference.  Though prices haven't been published yet for next year's event, generally if you register early, the cost for this conference is less than $150.  That is unheard of.  Even if  you wait until the very last minute to register, it is still less than $250.  Plus there are  scholarships available if the cost is too much for your church.  You really can not find another Conference offering as many opportunities for learning and networking for less money anywhere.   

If you work with children, I can not encourage you enough to check out this conference next year.  It is amazingly well done, allows you to make connections with people all over the country who understand what it means to be in Children's Ministry,  provides a wealth of practical workshops, and is budget friendly.  It really has everything.  Hope to see you there next year!  

Until next time...

 

Sometimes Ministry is Just Hard...But Don't Give Up!

I love being a Pastor.  I love my Church Plant and the way I am allowed to do services differently, enabling all age groups to be engaged and involved in the services.  I love when we have visitors and when their kids are excited because they will be sitting at a table together and there are things on the table for them to play/learn with.  And I love when I see someone understand a Biblical truth in a way they never had before.

But Ministry is not easy.  In fact, sometimes it is just hard.  Sometimes the people don't come.  Sometimes the weather causes you to not have service (which can make funds tight).  Sometimes there simply isn't the money you hoped would be there.  Sometimes our events are well planned, but poorly attended, and our plans to build the church fail.  Sometimes we can get discouraged.

I love the book of Philippians.  It has been my "go to" Book of the Bible whenever I needed encouragement for many years.  Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  In this passage Paul is talking about our personal spiritual walks, about how we should continue to grow in our walk to be like Jesus, but it applies in times of discouragement as well because on our journey with Christ, things will not always go smoothly.  There will be times of trouble and pain.  But this verse reminds us that God is still faithful during those times as well and that HIS work goes on in our lives if we keep following Him.

As I think about it, Paul was sitting in jail as he wrote those words.  To those outside the church, he probably looked like a failure because he was sitting in a jail cell instead of being out doing "church work", but God used Him in mighty ways while he was in jail and gave him opportunities to reach others for the Lord that he would not have gotten any other way.  Paul continued to grow in his walk with the Lord and went wherever the Lord led him on that journey and in doing so, God used him to reach countless others for the Kingdom, but probably not through the avenues Paul might have envisioned for himself...but it was never about what Paul might have envisioned.

It is important for us to remember that just because things are not going according to OUR plans, doesn't mean that God's plan has changed.  If God calls you to do something and you know that God has put it on your heart, then do it.  You must go where He sends you and do what He leads you to do.  Don't be discouraged because the results don't look like what you thought they would look like.  What looks like failure to you could be the exact steps God needed you to take so that HIS plan could flourish.  Keep going.  Keep believing.  Keep praying.  Keep working.  If HE gave you to plan, then HE will make the results come on HIS timetable...not yours.  For us, this can be very frustrating because we want to see God working.  We want results!  But God is very often working behind the scenes in ways that we could never dream and when HE is ready, then we will see results.  Our job, is simply to follow HIS leading.  Whatever He asks, wherever He leads, through whatever difficulties might come our way...we keep going.  We keep trusting. We keep following the path that He sets out for us.  And we can rest in the knowledge that HE will walk with us and when we get to the end of the road, we will be able to look back and say, "Wow...Look at what God did.  I'm so glad He let me be a part of it."

Until next time...

Ministry in the World of Social Media

     I went into full time ministry in 2005.  When it comes to social media, it was an entirely different world then.  MySpace was the popular site and it was a bit of a big deal to choose who your "top friends" were.  Facebook was new and you had to have a university email address to use it so it wasn't nearly as easily accessible as it is now.  Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter were not even much on the radar yet if at all.  So, to connect with the world around you, it was necessary to actually go out into that world.  Email was an easy way to communicate, but folks did still send actual letters from time to time.  However, in order for people to really get to know who you were, they generally had to talk to you face to face.
     Today, it is a different story.  Now, most people (though not all people) are on some form of social media.  They use it to connect with people all around the world and it is now a necessary tool for many types of jobs...ministry included.  However, the thing about Social Media is that you have a platform from which to talk to the world...the whole world.  And our circle of influence for the Kingdom got a lot bigger.  We "like" or "share" posts we find interesting or funny.  We comment on world events.  We cheer on our favorite sports teams or promote our favorite entertainment choices.  We are pretty transparent when we are online.  And, that is a good thing...but it is also something we need to be aware of.  Because our witness can be damaged by the choices we make online.
     Now, I am not saying that we should not be authentic when we are online.  Hypocrisy is not good in any form, but when we sit behind a computer screen, sometimes the filters that we use in our real life, seem to disappear.  But living a life of Holiness, doesn't pause when we sit down at our computers.   We, as Christians, are meant to live all the parts of our lives in such a way that everything we do points people to Jesus.   Here are a few things to remember when it comes to our online witness:

     1)  Be Christlike in your online speech. 
          This is maybe the biggest thing I see online.  Can I tell you how often I have seen something that a fellow Christian has posted and been disheartened?  From politics, to sports, to family interactions, it is important to look over what you are posting and ask yourself: 
   A) Does this really need to be said?   And if it does, is this the proper forum in which to say it?
   B) Am I venting simply because someone else thinks differently than I do?
   C) How would I react if my child/grandchild/neighbor kid were talking like this about a classmate? 
   D) Is this building up the Kingdom of God?

     2)  Don't Steal
          Do you own the rights to the picture you are posting online?  If not, you are stealing.  It is very easy and inexpensive to create photo graphics for your church or blog through sites like www.canva.com.  If you share a picture online through a share tab, that is fine...after all, that is what the share tab is for.  But if you save it to your computer, then share it as if you created it, that's not ok. You wouldn't steal it from a store, so don't steal it online either.
    
    3)  Do a quick social media check on yourself from time to time
         Every so often, go through the items you have posted online.  Do they reflect who you want to be?  What would your impression be if you saw those same posts on the social media account of someone else? 

    4)  Fact Check
         If you see a news article, warning, or alert about something, check it out before you share it.  There are a ton of bogus "warning" articles and lots of inaccurate news/stories out there.  Before you "share" at least check out the story on snopes.com or some other fact checking site and find out if there is any truth to it. 

Living a life of Holiness is not something we turn off and on.  If we really want to be like Jesus, then we have to include our online world in that journey as well.  After all, in today's day and age, the first place someone may meet you could be online...and as they say, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."  

Until next time!

We Are A Part of Something Bigger...#GA2017

I just got back from General Assembly.  This event takes place every four years in the Church of the Nazarene and it is when delegates come together from all parts of the globe (we are in 162 countries and minister in more than 200 languages worldwide) and do the business of the church. During these days, changes are adopted to our Manual (this contains the bylaws of the Church of the Nazarene) as well as looking at policies and procedures for the global church.  I talked quite a bit about what goes on at General Assembly in a former post so I won't spend a lot of time now, but if you want to learn more about what General Assembly is, you can read about it here. Today, I want to share a couple of highlights from General Assembly 2017.

First, there were amazing worship services.  It is hard to put into words what it is like to worship with so many brothers and sisters from around the globe, but it is amazing.  Since I am trying to learn Korean, I decided to get a translator headset so I could listen to the services and the some of the business meetings in that language.  That was an experience all its own.  I don't know enough to be able to follow along solely in Korean, but it was cool when I would be able to pick out the things I did know.  On Saturday night, they brought out on stage dozens of people to sing "The Revelation Song," and it was broken up into multiple languages.  What a moving experience that was.  You can watch the video below if you'd like to see it.  Wow!  In fact, you can find videos of all the services as well as this week's business meetings on YouTube.

 

Second, not only did I get to meet and/or catch up with friends from all over the USA, I was blessed to meet and get to know Nazarene Brothers and Sisters from all over the world. I met an amazing group from Nassau, Bahamas during the first couple days of Assembly and then was blessed to see them several times throughout the event. They brightened my day each time we got to see each other. Then another day, I met two women from Taiwan, one of which was the pastor of her church and had been pastoring there for many years.  What an inspiration she was.  I met the District Superintendent's wife from one of our India Districts as well as the General Assembly Delegate from another India District, both of which were amazing women of God.  I was blessed to chat several times with the fantastic woman, named Sun, who was manning the booth for Korea Nazarene University and I got to see the show their Tae Kwon Do Team put on.  It was jaw dropping.   It was great to get to catch up with the people Mom and Dad had worked with at Africa Nazarene University as well.  There were literally people to meet from all parts of the world and I tried to meet as many as I had the opportunity to do so.

Finally, I was there to witness the election of our two newest General Superintendents.  For those not familiar with the Church of the Nazarene, we have six General Superintendents who lead our church globally.  It is a huge job and not one that any of us take lightly.  They have the responsibility of chairing every District Assembly worldwide, ordaining all ministerial candidates each year from all parts of the world, as well as many many more duties.  This year, we elected Dr. Filimeo Chambo from our Africa Region and Dr. Carla Sunberg who has been the president of Nazarene Theological Seminary.  Dr. Chambo's election brings our Board of General Superintendents to three from within the US and three from outside the US and Dr. Sunberg in our second ever woman to be elected a GS.  It was an incredible honor to see these two wonderful leaders in our church elected to our highest office. 

General Assembly reminds me once again that we are bigger than just our local church.  Bigger than our Districts and even bigger than our countries.  We are a part of a global team all working together to reach the world for Jesus.  And when we include our brothers and sisters from other denominations that team just gets bigger.  It's important to remember that we are not alone.  It's important to remember that there are others working for the Kingdom in places we may never get to visit ourselves.  And it's important to remember that we are indeed all ONE team, pursuing ONE goal and that is the share CHRIST with the world.  I'm honored to be a small part of this global team.  

General Assembly 2017...

It happens every four years and it's my favorite event in the life of my denomination.  It's General Assembly and it is happening later this month in Indianapolis, Indiana.  What makes it so special?  Well, there are many things that I look forward to at General Assembly, but here are my top 3 reasons why I love it:

1) It is very much a family reunion...
I grew up in the Church of the Nazarene.  In fact, I joined the church when I was about 10 years old.  I have been on staff in 6 churches across three states, been the Preacher's Kid in 11 churches (ranging from infancy-now) since my Dad is a Pastor, went to a Nazarene University ("On a hill stands old Trevecca..."), and the list goes on.  To say I have Nazarene friends around the world is not an understatement and the only time I have opportunity to catch up with those amazing people is when we all come together for General Assembly.  It's a time to see how God is working in the lives of people across the world.  And there will literally be people there from all parts of the world (except perhaps Antarctica...I don't believe we have any churches on that continent...yet. 😁)  At Assembly we get to encourage and learn from each other in ways that simply are not possible at any other time.  It's amazing.  This year, I gave myself a challenge and I have been learning Korean.  I'm not even remotely fluent, but I can hold a short conversation pretty well now. I'm excited to be able to greet the participants who speak Korean in their own language this time.  Why?  Well, why not?  They are a part of my global family and not many of us in the States had the opportunity to learn any Asian languages in school, so now as an adult, I'm trying to learn.  Eventually, I plan to learn a little Japanese, Chinese, and even Vietnamese as well and then at the next General Assembly I'll be able to greet them properly too...but this time...I'm focused on Korean. We shall see how well I do. 

2) We get great training for ministry...
There are tons of workshops covering every area of ministry throughout the first few days of General Assembly.  This free training is available to anyone who wants to attend and is an amazing resource for those who want to grow in their faith, add to their ministerial toolkit, or simply learn more about the Kingdom of God.  Plus there is a large exhibit hall where you can get more information about ministry tools, learn about the work God is doing around the globe, check out the large number of Nazarene Educational Institutions that are represented, or even shop for a souvenir.  There really is something for everyone.

3) The Worship Services...
There are amazing church services in the evenings of Assembly.  They are dynamic, they are fast paced, they are really cool to be a part of, but more importantly, they are filled with the power of God as we hear His Word brought from one of our General Superintendents.  It is amazing and it really is something that you have to experience to fully appreciate.

There is also a huge service project that takes place leading up to General Assembly called "One Heart, Many Hands" (See the video below) and the work they accomplish is highlighted during one of the evening services.  It is always amazing to see just how much can be done when everyone bands together.  Hundreds (perhaps even thousands) of people will come early to participate in this amazing outreach.  

If you have the opportunity to come to General Assembly, I hope you will come and see all that God is doing in the life of the Church of the Nazarene.  And if you will not be attending, please pray for all those who are.  We appreciate it.  I'll share some highlights from the event next month.  

Until next week! 

Memories and Ministry

 
Memories are important in our lives.  All the pieces of our past make us who we are currently.  The good, the bad, the painful, the fun, the humorous, and the heartrending....all of those memories help make us who we are.  While some are more pleasant than others to remember, none are more or less important because without even one of them, we would be different than we are now.
     Memories are important in the life of the church as well.  I have been in literally hundreds of churches throughout my life and all of them have their own stories and their own history that brought that particular church to where it is today.  However, just like in our own lives, our churches can not live in the past if they want to keep moving forward.  That being said though, we never want to forget what brought our churches to where they are today.  And it is a great idea to find ways to highlight special memories in the life of our churches.
     We often have members in our churches who have been a part of the congregation for dozens of years longer than the current pastor.  They like to share what it was like in the church when they first arrived or the changes they have seen take place over the years and it's important that those perspectives are not lost.  So, how can we celebrate the past without clinging fiercely to it?  Here are a few ideas:

     Create a memory video to share on a special anniversary or other celebration of the church.  This allows members to share memories and pictures as well as allowing new people to see a brief history of the church.  For me it's always fascinating to see the changes in churches over the years.  Plus seeing the fashions change as well as familiar faces from days gone by is sure to bring smiles to the faces of all those who watch it.

     Make a small church history display in the building.  Many churches have gone through building changes or additions over the years.  A small display of pictures that shows how the church has changed is always an interesting way to remember the past.  My home church in Middletown, IN has gone through major physical changes in the last 30 years.  Since the current building began construction around 30 years ago, there are few people who attend now, who also attended when it was in it's previous building.  (I remember loving to ring the church bell in the old church.  The rope would practically lift us kids off the ground when we rang it.)  Then that new building was added onto twice over the next 20 years and there are many people who attend now who didn't begin attending until after the 2nd or 3rd addition was built.  So seeing the visual changes over the years just in the building itself is an amazing testament to how God has worked in that church over the years. 

Current Middletown Church of the Nazarene

Original Middletown Church of the Nazarene

 
     Highlight a long term member on the church website.  Most churches have a website now (and if they don't, they should) so why not use one page of it to highlight the memories of those members who have so faithfully attended and supported the church over the years.  You could choose one person or couple every month and interview them.  Allow them to share how they have seen God work in your church.  Their memories can be such an encouragement to others, but they are rarely asked to share what they have seen God do.  Then sadly, so often, the stories of those who went before us are lost after they pass away.  This gives your church an easy way to record their thoughts and memories so that they can be shared for many years...even after they have gained their heavenly reward.  

     Seeing how God has moved in the past can be a great encouragement to us today.  While we never want to "live" in the past, we also never want to forget it.  If you have other ideas for celebrating the past in your church, I'd love to hear about them, so feel free to drop me a line and tell me about them.

Till next time...

A Motorcycle and a Miracle...

Dad is the man lying on the ground.

     A week and one day ago, (April 10th, 2017) I got a phone call that would change me.  My parents (Dr. Randy and Mary Jane James) live in Oak Hill, West Virginia where my Dad is the Pastor of the Oak Hill Church of the Nazarene.  That afternoon, my Dad had been out calling on his motorcycle.  He was on a four lane highway headed back toward home and he was going the speed limit, which in that area was 65mph.  Suddenly a drunk driver in a pick up truck pulled out in front of my Dad and with no time to swerve or stop, Dad crashed into the side of that truck.  He hit the truck hard enough that he knocked the back wheels off of the vehicle.  When he fell to the ground we are told that his helmeted head hit the ground and bounced 2 or 3 times as it did.   He should have died.  There is literally no earthly way that my Dad should have survived such a terrible crash...but he did.  In fact, not only did he survive, but he had no broken bones, no head injuries, and no shoulder injuries.  None!
     When he was taken to the hospital, he was found to have bumps and bruises and the next day they found that he had compartment syndrome in his right leg which required two surgeries...both of which were successful and the first of which exposed a deadly blood clot that was removed without incident.
     Everyone who saw the crash or the wreckage from it expected the worst.  But, that's not what happened.  Miracles happened.  Several of them, in fact.  Within moments of the crash, a nurse (who had been coming the other direction at the time of the crash) stopped to help and was administering aid even before an ambulance could be called.  Bystanders stopped traffic to keep him from being run over since he was now in the middle of the highway.  Dad, who was awake and alert after the crash, pulled his phone from his pocket (which didn't break) and called my Mom to tell her that "he'd had an accident and thought he probably better be taken to the hospital to get checked out."   The drunk driver had just dropped off a hitch hiker who saw the entire incident and could tell the police what happened. We think that Dad's Honda Goldwing made impact with the tire area of the truck which would have had more "give" than other areas of the vehicle when struck.  But even with all those things happening...the speed Dad was going at the time of the crash should have killed him. 
     We often talk about miracles and sometimes we use the term too loosely.  But last week, no other word fits Dad's survival.  We look at this incident and we can only stand in awe and wonder.
     As a Pastor, I know that miracles happen.  I have seen them take place in the lives of people.  But this one hit me differently.  Seeing my Dad survive an unsurvivable crash makes me think that I now understand what it was like for the people who watched Jesus heal the blind or make the lame walk.  Those kinds of miracles are hard to wrap your head around because there is nothing you can even remotely attach as another reason it happened.  It's not like they could say, "Well, he wasn't really blind," or "I think the doctor gave that lame man some better medicine and it's just now taking effect."  I think I can also better understand how the disciples and the women who went to the tomb felt when they realized that Jesus was indeed alive.  Those kind of miracles just leave you staring in disbelief.  And that is the way I felt when I saw my Dad in the hospital.  I could see with my own eyes that he was alive and yet, my mind could hardly process it because I know HE SHOULD BE DEAD.  But, he's not...Dad is alive.
     We serve a God who does miracles...but now I see them in a different way.  Now, I will read those Scriptures with new eyes.  Now I think I can explain how amazing they were/are a little better.  Because now, I have seen one of those unexplainable miracles up close.  And when you see God do something that can not be explained except to acknowledge that HE did it...you walk away changed.
    
    

There will be rain...but God is bigger than the rain.

"Into each life some rain must fall."  That is from a song sung by the Inkspots in 1944, but my Mom used to say it to me when I was growing up.  It generally would be said when things were not going my way and I was being a bit of a brat about it.  But, it's a true statement.  In life, there will be times of rain.  Times when things just don't go the way you planned.  When something happens that throws you for a loop.  Leading during those times can be difficult because our focus can easily be on ourselves...and in some ways it needs to be. 

Rain can come in many forms.  It can be an unexpected big expense that you have to find a way to afford (like a car or home repair).  It can be a family crisis like an extreme illness or death.  It could even be a job change or some other life transistion.  Sometimes the rain is annoying but not overwhelming.  Sometimes it comes in huge torrents that you're not sure how you will ever get through.  The only thing we can be sure of is that in life, there will be rain.  And we still have to lead even in the midst of that rain. 

So what do we do when the rain hits?  Here are a few things I've learned from my own rainstorms:

1)  Don't forget your time with God
When the rain comes, it can be easy to get so focused on whatever the problem is that we neglect our time with the Lord.  And when the rain feels torrential, sometimes it seems like it's all we can do to get through the day...But keep your focus on the One who is bigger than the rain.  Depending on what is going on in your life, you may not be able to form the words you want to say, but that's ok.  Sometimes just being in His presence is enough.  Lean on Him.  Let His strength be your strength.  He won't let you down. 

2) Don't try to go it alone
Sometimes, in ministry, we feel like we are islands.  But we are not.  Share your burden with your spouse, or if like me, you're not married, share with a friend or family member.  Sometimes just hashing out an issue with someone you trust can change your whole perspective. You don't have to publicly share your pain on Facebook, but you should share it with a trusted confidant. 

3) It's ok for your congregation to know you are hurting
In the past 7 months, I lost both my Grandfather and Grandmother.  And it has been a process to deal with the grief of their passing.  In fact, I'm still grieving, but my church family was amazing. My Grandfather's passing was unexpected and quick and my church family hugged me and prayed for me during those shocking days.  Then five weeks later, my Grandmother's death came after watching her weaken for 10 days in the hospital.  On the day she passed, several people from my church showed up to the hospital, gathered around me and prayed.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.  In the days and weeks that followed, they were a constant source of strength during a very trying time.  We pastors don't always share all the things going on in our lives with those in our ministry, but there are times when it is appropriate to let the congregation know our hearts are hurting.  Let them be the hands and feet of Jesus during those difficult times in your life.

4) Don't be afraid to get professional help when it's needed.
Sometimes, it takes more than advice from a friend or spouse when the rain is falling particularly hard.  In those times, don't be afraid to reach out to a Christian counselor or therapist.  As Pastors, it is not uncommon for us to refer people to get counselling during particularly difficult times in their lives and sometimes we need to take our own advice.  It is much better to reach out for help than to continually struggle without improvement. 

Rain will come, but Praise the Lord that He is with us in the midst of the rain.  And in the words of that great Gaither song, and He will sustain us "till the storm passes by."   

Making Memorable Moments...

Every time we put together a service, we want to make what we are doing memorable for those in our congregation.  Whether it is a child, a teen, or an adult, the goal is the same.  We want the lesson we are teaching to stick with those who are hearing it.  And more than likely it won't be the whole lesson they remember, but it's very possible that one moment will stick.  So we have to make as many memorable moments in our lessons as we can.  Now, there is no sure fire way of doing that.  After all, we have all prepared lessons that we thought were going to be awesome only to see them fall flat, or taken a lesson that we were not sure would work and see people really respond to it.  So, there isn't a foolproof way to make memorable moments, but there are a few things that when incorporated generally help.  And though, we usually deal primarily with children, they can be helpful for any age group.

1) Don't just read...make the lesson fun.
I know, this seems like a no brainer, but how many times have you seen someone stand up in front of a group and then just simply read a lesson.  Or perhaps the teacher doesn't have much inflection in their voice.  These are things we have to work hard not to do.  Now, I'm not saying you can never read something.  Sometimes there might be a brief passage that you want to quote properly and so reading it is appropriate, but just standing and reading for an entire lesson simply isn't memorable.  Move, smile, change your voice, change your inflection.  The lesson should feel like you are chatting with a friend, not performing and essay. If what your teaching is fun, there is a great chance that it is also memorable.

2) Incorporate more than one of the senses. 
The more senses involved in a lesson, the better someone will remember what is being taught.  Is your Scripture focused on the woman with a jar of oil?  Perhaps you can bring in some oil and let the kids touch it.  Will you be learning about John the Baptist?  Bringing in some wild honey for the kids to taste will bring the lesson to life.  Will you be talking about faith the size of mustard seed?  You can buy small containers of mustard seeds at nearly any grocery store.  The kids will love seeing how small they really are.  Don't be afraid to use multiple senses in your lesson.  The more you use, the better they will remember what they are being taught.

3) Teach the point through many avenues
Let's say that your lesson focuses on caring for each other as Christ cares for us.  Your game could be a cooperation game where the team has to work together in order to win.  There could be an activity where the kids all have to complete a task (such as throwing a ball into a basket), but give each group a problem they have to overcome in order to complete the task (like making one of them pretend to have two broken arms, or blindfolding one).  They will have to figure out a way to help the person who has the challenge so that they all can finish the task.  You could even choose songs for the day that focus on how God cares for us such as Jonathan Shelton's "Counting on God" or Group Music's "His Great Love."  All these things together add to and build up the teaching time where you will bring out the Scripture of the day and help continually focus the listeners attention on what the lesson is...which will lead to more opportunities for memorable moments.

It takes a lot of planning an preparation to bring about memorable moments, but it's worth it.  Why?  Because God often brings those memorable moments back to our minds just when we need them most and they help us draw ever closer to Him. 

Until next week... 

A New Vision...

As you may have noticed, I have not been as regular in posting to this blog as of late.  I apologize for that, but God has been doing some incredible things in my life and I want to share with you what's been going on.

I started my 12th year as a Children's Pastor this summer. Prior to that, I was actively involved in Children's Ministry as a volunteer for about 5 years.  So for about the last 17 years I have lived and breathed ministry to children and families.  But this year God started talking to me about a different sort of ministry path and yet in some ways...it's not different at all.

He has called me to plant a church, but not just any church.  This church would be geared to reach people who have never really ever been to church before.  It would strive to remove the common barriers that tend to keep people from attending church if they have never been a part of a congregation or once they are have gotten out of the habit of attending. It would be basic in it's teaching so that the entire family could learn together and no one feels "talked down to" or out of the loop.  The environment will be fast paced, active and totally family friendly.  Everyone learns together.  The family unit is taught as a whole in one place in ways that everyone understands.  We will sit at tables and chairs and the tables will be covered with butcher paper and manipulatives, allowing for activity even during times of listening.  The service would be multi-sensory so no one type of learning is excluded or, for that matter, exclusively used. It's a whole new way of doing ministry and I am beyond excited about it.

God called and I listened, but I will admit that I was terrified at first.  I mean, I never expected to be a senior pastor...ever.  But when God speaks we have to listen so I started out on this journey.  I started praying...I started talking about what God was impressing on me with friends who immediately jumped on board and started encouraging me.  Then, I started talking to my District Superintendent about this a few months back and he also could see the vision I was sharing and encouraged me.  Every door that I expected to close in my face has opened wide as I have continued to walk down this path.  Last week, our District Advisory Board approved the plans for this church plant.  Yesterday, I got an email from my General Church telling me that the plant was officially registered with the denomination.

So, I am excited to share with you all that I am now the Pastor of the New Vision Church of the Nazarene in LaGrange, IN.  We will have our Open House/Launch Party on December 17th and then on January 8th, 2017 we will hold our first service.  If you'd like to check out New Vision, please see our Facebook page.

This journey has been more amazing than I could ever put into words.  I have never in my life had such an experience.  I know the days ahead will be challenging, but I also know that God is going to do some incredible things and I'm thrilled to have even a small part of His plans.

Next week, I'll go back to my regular "Tuesday's Tips", but this week, I just had to share what God has been doing.

Until next time...

Transitions and Saying Goodbye...

Change happens in ministry...and sometimes the change is you.  Part of being a pastor means changing churches when the Lord leads you to do so.  However, leaving the children and families that you have gotten so close to can be very difficult.  Personally, I am in the midst of such a change as I leave my current congregation to become a church plant pastor. (More about that another time)  But this is not the first time I've changed churches and though each time the situation is somewhat different, there are a few things you can do to make the move as easy as possible for all those involved.

First, plan for the day when you will resign to your children.  For me, because I am teaching children's church during the adult worship service, the senior pastor will generally read my resignation to the adults, but I tell the children myself.  I feel it is important that they hear the news from me.  So, I prepare a lesson all about following the Lord's lead in our lives wherever that path might go.  When the children understand how important it is to follow the Lord's leading, it makes it easier for them to understand why you are leaving.  That is not to say that it makes them miss you any less (or you them), but they do understand.  It's important that they realize that you are not just "leaving them", because some children will feel like they did something that made you leave or that you didn't like them enough to stay.  But when they realize that you are simply going where the Lord is sending you, that is a very different thing.

Second, sometimes when we leave, there are reasons that we can not discuss with the church body.  There will always be people who will wonder why you are leaving and if something or someone influenced your decision.  And at times, that might be the case but, and this is really important, even if you have a reason to make waves about why you are leaving...don't.  This is not easy if you feel like you have been wronged in some way.   In fact it might be the hardest thing you ever have to do in ministry, but it is the better path.  Making someone else look bad is only going to make you look worse...even if you are in the right.   Leave a legacy of love and understanding.  Not one of hurt feelings and pain.  Our job is to always leave the church better than when we arrived.

Thirdly, prepare for your successor.  Are there quirks about your area that a new person should know? Are there some helpful hints or lists of workers you can leave for the next person who has your position?  If so, it might be a good idea to leave them a note.  At one church where I served, the children's area had 4 thermostats of which only two worked and a huge set of closets full of supplies that I didn't realize had been there when I first arrived at the position.  So I made sure I left that information in my note.  Printing off lists of volunteers and any schedules you have available can also be a huge blessing to the next leader.  Leaving behind a list of events is helpful as well.  When I was the newbie at one of the churches I served, there was a huge event that I didn't realize I was supposed to have a children's program during until about two weeks before the event.  Because it was an event that had happened for so many years, people didn't realize that I wasn't in the loop for the details.  So, when I left, I made sure I left behind a list of all the main church events and what the children's department was responsible for at each of those events for the person who followed me.

Lastly...once someone else has your position, don't visit much for a while.  I'm not saying don't visit at all, but if it is in your means to wait until the new person has been there about 6 months or so, that will help the children attach to that new leader much easier.  If you keep showing up, the children will automatically look to you and not to the new leader and that is not fair to the children or your successor.  If you do decide to pop in for a visit, don't go back to the children's area until after church.  If you go there before service starts, it can be difficult for the leader to get the children's attention again and can disrupt the service flow.  After service, is a much better time to connect with everyone.

These are a few things that I've learned over the years.  Transitioning can be a challenge, but when God calls us to a new position, He will also lead us through the transition. 

Until next week!

Following His Path...

Some days ministry is awesome.  You know what I'm talking about.  When you lead a service where God moves in and takes over, where lives are changed, where people really connect with the Savior.  Those are the days that we live for and strive to repeat because leading others to the throne of grace is why we are in ministry to begin with.  We want to help others come to know the King of Kings and strive to teach them what having a relationship with Him looks like.

Then there are the harder days.  The days where nothing seems to go as planned.  Where your teachers show up late or not at all, where the coffee maker busted, where the copier is out of toner and you just need two more copies, or when someone is upset with you because of something they heard from someone else about something you didn't have anything to do with. Yeah, those are fun days. (She said sarcastically.) 

But I think the hardest part of ministry, and the Christian life in general, is when God comes in and asks you to move out of your comfort zone.  When He gives you a vision that includes things you never thought you would see yourself doing in ways you never dreamed. No one likes to be blindly led, but in Scripture, God often asks His leaders to be willing to do just that.  Abraham was asked to go without knowing where he was going to end up (Genesis 12:1), so he left and God provided for him.  Gideon was asked to fight a battle with so few men he could not see how victory could be possible (Judges 7), but he obeyed and God provided the victory that was needed. When Jesus called His disciples, they really didn't have any idea how their lives would change, but they followed him and they were witness to amazing things and had the opportunity to learn at the feet of Jesus (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have multiple accounts of them).  All of these people in Scripture, and many more as well, were asked to just follow where God was leading them without knowing what exactly that road would look like.  And when they obeyed, God used them in mighty ways.

When God asks us to step out in faith and do something we never thought we could do, those times are scary and can be overwhelming.  But then you remember that, He wouldn't ask you to step out in faith if He had any doubt you could do it.  He wouldn't choose you if you were not the right person for the job.  And though, you may not be able to see the road, the way is clearly marked from God's point of view.  The hard part is trusting Him to lead us.  Then again...if we really trust Him like we say we do, maybe it isn't all that hard after all.

In your ministry, you will have times where God calls you out of your comfort zone to places you never expected.  Keep following.  Though, it might seem like a wilderness to you, the road is clearly marked to God and He won't let you get lost so long as you follow His lead. 

Vacation Bible School Alternatives

Vacation Bible School is, for most churches, a big part of their planning for the year.  If you are planning a Vacation Bible School and you want it to be successful, you have to work on it months in advance.  It takes a lot of time, effort, and money to buy the curriculum, get the volunteers, prepare the decorations, find the crafts, get the proper snacks and so much more.  However, if VBS is traditionally well attended in your area and it opens doors for outreach for your church, then it is time, money and effort well spent. If it is working at your church, keep it up.  It can be an amazing tool to reach children and shouldn't be set aside if it is still connecting with the families in your area.

But what if it no longer seems to work at your church?  What if it is like pulling teeth to get the volunteers, your budget is stretched thin, and the kids just don't seem interested?  Don't beat yourself up.  You are not alone.  In fact, I have Children's Pastor friends all over the country and lots of us are beginning to face this issue.  The numbers of attendees are down.  The folks in the church simply can't help like they did in the past.  And now, with so many schools going to a balanced calendar, the window of opportunity is very small to even hold a Bible School in the summer.

So, what can be done?  In my opinion, we have to get out of the traditional five day VBS mindset and start focusing on what might work for our area.  There are lots of alternatives if you are willing to make a few changes.

Use an existing service time
If you want to do a program in the summer, but you don't have a full week available, perhaps you could hold your VBS on Sunday Mornings, Sunday Nights, or Wednesday Nights.  This doesn't work everywhere, but in some places, simply replacing an existing children's service with special Vacation Bible School Services is a fun way to change things up in the summer.  
Pick a different time of year
In my area, because of the balanced school calendar, summer is about 8 weeks long.  Four of those weeks are taken up with our District Family Camp, two Teen Camps, and three Children's Camps.  One week on either end of the vacation is difficult to plan around because not all the schools begin or end on the same day. That leaves two weeks in the summer and often those weeks are difficult to plan big events around because of all the family vacations that people take.  So, why not plan your big event at a different time of year?  If you want to do a Vacation Bible School (either three day or five day), why not plan it during part of one of the other longer school breaks.  For example, many families in our area travel during part of the Spring Break, but not so much during the Fall Break. And our Fall Break is two weeks long, so there are about 5-7 days that all the schools are out at the same time.  For us, it could be a much better time to plan an outreach event. 

Try a Sport Camp VBS
I am about as uncoordinated and athletically challenged as they come, but even I was able to pull off leading a Mega Sports Camp.  It's totally different from your traditional Bible School in many ways, but there are some great Biblical lessons and in this program that the kids will love.  If you want to do Bible School, but want to put a different spin on it, I highly recommend this one.  
 
Do something different
If your town is full of churches, like mine is, there are probably 20 different Bible Schools going on during the summer.  So why not plan something totally different?  Perhaps a Family Concert or Bazaar.  Maybe a Friday night/Saturday family camp out at a nearby lake or park would be well received.  You could have a special family service right around the campfire.  Look at your area and see what the families enjoy.  It will be different everywhere, but if you can plan something really fun, but different than what everyone else is doing, you will automatically stand out.    

Don't overload your volunteers
Your volunteers want to help.  After all, that is why they volunteer, but be careful that you are not overloading them.  If you are seeing that your team is getting pretty tired and are in need of a break, that is NOT the time to add something new to their plate.  Part of our jobs as ministers is to take care of those who are working along side us.  I read a great book not long ago by Barry Newton called "A Mile In These Shoes."  I highly recommend it and there was a quote in it about how we work with others that hit me hard.  He said, "If we are reaching the lost at the expense of those we already have, we are not saving the world.  We are simply leaving a trail of burnt, broken people in our wake." (pg. 104) Programs and events are great, but if our schedule is so full that we are burning out our volunteers to present them, then the price is just too high.  It might be that, for one summer, you don't do a big event so that they can rest and come back refreshed and renewed.  

Don't be afraid to fail
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want you to try something that you know will fail.  But don't let the fear of failure prevent you from trying something new.  If it doesn't work, you can still learn from the experience.  If it does work, you may have just started something that will reach lots of new families in your community for the Lord.  

Times continue to change and we have to change with them.  But don't be afraid, change can be good...and the right change can revitalize your ministry.  

Until next week...

   

Helping Grieving Families...

This past Friday my Grandmother passed away.  I had lived with her for the past two and a half years.  She went into the hospital on July 3rd and then suffered a massive heart attack two days later.  After 12 total days in the hospital she passed away.  This is the first time I have ever been through an experience such as this and it has been an extremely difficult couple of weeks.  But there have been some wonderful people who stepped up to care for our family in some very simple ways.  I thought I would share some of those ways this week. 

Snacks are a blessing...
For several days, my Grandma was in hospice care at the hospital.  We would eat in shifts, but times would come where we really didn't want to leave and it was such a blessing to have snacks like fruit, chips, veggies, animal cookies, and etc in the room to snack on.  The hospice folks were wonderful and kept us stocked in coffee, drinks and a few snacks, but those other treats that were shared with our family meant a lot during those days.

When you offer to help, be specific
We had people who constantly offered to help us in any way we needed and it was such a blessing.  However, what I noticed was that most of time, my mind simply didn't work very well and if you asked me if I needed anything, I would automatically say, "No, I'm fine. Thank you."  And usually I didn't need anything.  But occasionally someone would say something like, "Would it be ok if we brought you dinner?" or "Would you like me to check on your dogs?" and then that would trigger something in my mind and I would realize that that would be very helpful.  But it wouldn't have occurred to me unless they had mentioned it.


Check in often
During our days at the hospital with Grandma, a few people would text me every day just to see how we were.  Sitting in that hospital room would make for long days and though not everyone could come to visit, just getting a text telling me they were praying meant so much.  More than I can even put into words.  

Pray
There was literally nothing that anyone could do during the time we sat by my Grandma's bed and waited for her to enter Glory.  But lots of people were praying for us and it was such a comfort.  We had messages on Facebook, text messages, phone calls and personal visits that continually reminded us that others were walking this road with us and carrying us to the Father when we had run out of words ourselves.   

These last few days have been incredibly difficult, but these few kindnesses have made all the difference in making what could have been nearly unbearable...bearable.  When any of the families in your church go through something like this, I'm sure these same kindesses would be a blessing to them as well.

Until next week... 

Co-Workers in the Kingdom

Over the course of a year, there are lots of events that the Children's Ministry plans at my church.  But we are just one of many churches in our area.  There are four other Nazarene Churches, as well as many Church of God (Anderson) Congregations, plus Baptist, Wesleyan, Methodist, Presbyterian, Assembly of God Churches and more.  Most of these churches, if not all of them, have an active Children's Department.  Some people would see all these other churches as competitors, but I think it is important that we see them as our Co-Workers in the Kingdom.   

Have you talked to the Children's Ministers at the other churches in your area?  If you haven't, I would suggest that you do and here are a few reasons why:

They can help you get to know the quirks of the area.
Every place is different and every area has it's own unique quirks.  If you are new to an area, these other ministers can answer key questions like: 
Is there a specific park that is especially good, or bad for having activities?
Are there community events (parades, fairs, etc) that you should be sure to plan around?  
Is there a certain sport or school that seems to take precedence in the area?  
Are the schools easy to work with for events. Do they not allow church involvement at all?  

They are full of fun ideas
Check out the children's departments in the churches around you.  You may not have time to see them all, but see if you can look at a few.  You can glean new ideas for decorations, check-in, signs, and many other things.  Sometimes, just viewing a new department will get your own creative juices flowing.

They are doing the same job you are...connect with them.
There is something very special about connecting with other Children's Workers and if you have the opportunity to do so, it will be a blessing to not only your ministry, but also to your own personal well being.  

We are co-laborers in the Kingdom and we should be supporting one another and helping each other grow.  If you haven't already,  would challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and connect with another Children's Pastor from a nearby church.  We're all on the team.  Let's work together.  And you might just make a new friend too.  

Until next week!    
 

Review Days

I love doing series lessons.  We've done a series on great people of faith (Billy Sunday, Fanny Crosby, Billy Graham, The Five Missionaries to the Waodoni, Martin Luther, etc), did a super fun series on the Judges, "toured" the Holy Land in a Biblical travel series, and lots of others.  And each series ends with one Review Day Sunday that is full of lots of games to help them remember what we have learned.  We had one recently to finish our current series and I was reminded of a couple things that are helpful when doing a Review day so I thought I'd pass them along to you.

Not every child was there every week
In fact, there is a high probability that none of the children were there every week.  A series is usually 6-8 weeks long and in that time we will have either one or possibly two Family Sunday services where our children will be in the main sanctuary and not children's church so that extends the time a bit longer.  If you stop to think about it, probably most of your kids will miss at least one Sunday over the course of 8-10 weeks.  So keep that in mind when preparing your games.  I combat this issue by using teams for the games.  No child is ever on their own so no one has to have all the answers.  They work together no one feels pressure to know the answer all the time.

Include at least two games that can be played by a visitor 
A new child won't know many (or any) answers from the series you are reviewing, so include a couple games where they won't feel like the outsider. For example, we were just finishing up a series where we were "traveling" to different locations in the Holy Land and one of our games was a bingo game that reviewed those locations and lots of others too. Every child could play and even the newest had opportunity to win because it was Bingo, not a question/answer game. I also included a game where the answers to some of the questions were literally in front of them on the pages of a previous game.  We had two new children at our last review game and I think they had just as much fun as everyone else simply because the service was planned with them in mind...even before we knew they were coming. :-)

Be flexible and be prepared to change things up
Like everything else in ministry, the unexpected is to be expected. Be ready to add a game or activity if the service goes long or perhaps change a game if necessary. My preschool teacher had a family emergency urging our last review game so I can a child much younger than the others stay in our service...but with a few tweaks, all went well.

Have fun!
Review days should be lots of fun. Enjoy it! Praise their memory when they answer correctly and encourage team work when a question is missed. It's not about who wins (in fact I've started taking away points from a team if I see/hear gloating), it a celebration of what they have learned and how they are growing in their walks with the Lord.

Until next week!

An Unusual Week

This week's blog will be a bit different.  We had a death in my family on Thursday evening and it has taken a bit of a toll on me.  My Grandfather was 84 and sadly he had not been very much a part of my life for the last few years.  However, his passing has been much more difficult than I expected.  Grief snuck up on me in ways I simply wasn't prepared for.  Indeed, I fell apart over a cup of coffee in a restaurant early Sunday morning because it reminded me of a memory with Grandpa from days gone by. 

However, I am reminded that in everyone's lives there will be difficult days.  The children we work with have them, the volunteers who work with us have them, and we will have them.  During those days it is important that we remember where our strength comes from.  Yesterday, I sat down and wrote a poem trying to find the words to help me work through the feelings that were stirring within me. Now, I am by no means a poet.  In fact, outside of an assignment for school, this may be my first poem.  However, God spoke to me through that activity and I thought that I would share it with you all.  I hope it brings you, during your difficult days, at least in small measure the comfort if has brought me.

Next week I'll be back to the regular Tuesday's Tips.

The Trip Book...

All through the year there are various activities that will include a trip of some sort for our kids at church.  It might be a Bible Quizzing meet, it might be Church Camp, it could be a retreat of some sort or any number of other activities.  It’s easy for those things to run together.  And we don’t want to lose the memories associated with those trips.  To help with that, at our church, we have instituted a “Trip Book.” 

The “Trip Book” is simply a notebook (preferably hardback so that it lasts a while) that we take on our special trips.  At the beginning of each trip we put the following information:

Date:

Trip Name: (Bible Quiz Meet, Retreat, etc)

Who is on the trip:

Then throughout the trip, we write down anything we want to remember.  It could be something serious (like how God talked to the kids or an important event that happened), or something funny.  Sometimes pictures are drawn or favorite songs are listed.  I let the kids decide what goes in the book.  It is their way to record memories for those who didn’t get to go as well as help those that went remember what we did.   The same book accompanies all the trips until the book is full and then another book is started.  

This is a simple and inexpensive (the only cost is the price of the notebook) way to help children connect with each other as well as take note of what is going on around them.  Just recently, we took several preteens to an event that only one had attended before.  She immediately got out the "Trip Book" and showed all the others what had happened on the last trip.  It was fun for her to remember and gave the other preteens exciting things to look forward to.  I highly recommend you try out a “Trip Book” with your group and see what they decide to record on your next trip.

Until next week!