Transitions and Saying Goodbye...

Change happens in ministry...and sometimes the change is you.  Part of being a pastor means changing churches when the Lord leads you to do so.  However, leaving the children and families that you have gotten so close to can be very difficult.  Personally, I am in the midst of such a change as I leave my current congregation to become a church plant pastor. (More about that another time)  But this is not the first time I've changed churches and though each time the situation is somewhat different, there are a few things you can do to make the move as easy as possible for all those involved.

First, plan for the day when you will resign to your children.  For me, because I am teaching children's church during the adult worship service, the senior pastor will generally read my resignation to the adults, but I tell the children myself.  I feel it is important that they hear the news from me.  So, I prepare a lesson all about following the Lord's lead in our lives wherever that path might go.  When the children understand how important it is to follow the Lord's leading, it makes it easier for them to understand why you are leaving.  That is not to say that it makes them miss you any less (or you them), but they do understand.  It's important that they realize that you are not just "leaving them", because some children will feel like they did something that made you leave or that you didn't like them enough to stay.  But when they realize that you are simply going where the Lord is sending you, that is a very different thing.

Second, sometimes when we leave, there are reasons that we can not discuss with the church body.  There will always be people who will wonder why you are leaving and if something or someone influenced your decision.  And at times, that might be the case but, and this is really important, even if you have a reason to make waves about why you are leaving...don't.  This is not easy if you feel like you have been wronged in some way.   In fact it might be the hardest thing you ever have to do in ministry, but it is the better path.  Making someone else look bad is only going to make you look worse...even if you are in the right.   Leave a legacy of love and understanding.  Not one of hurt feelings and pain.  Our job is to always leave the church better than when we arrived.

Thirdly, prepare for your successor.  Are there quirks about your area that a new person should know? Are there some helpful hints or lists of workers you can leave for the next person who has your position?  If so, it might be a good idea to leave them a note.  At one church where I served, the children's area had 4 thermostats of which only two worked and a huge set of closets full of supplies that I didn't realize had been there when I first arrived at the position.  So I made sure I left that information in my note.  Printing off lists of volunteers and any schedules you have available can also be a huge blessing to the next leader.  Leaving behind a list of events is helpful as well.  When I was the newbie at one of the churches I served, there was a huge event that I didn't realize I was supposed to have a children's program during until about two weeks before the event.  Because it was an event that had happened for so many years, people didn't realize that I wasn't in the loop for the details.  So, when I left, I made sure I left behind a list of all the main church events and what the children's department was responsible for at each of those events for the person who followed me.

Lastly...once someone else has your position, don't visit much for a while.  I'm not saying don't visit at all, but if it is in your means to wait until the new person has been there about 6 months or so, that will help the children attach to that new leader much easier.  If you keep showing up, the children will automatically look to you and not to the new leader and that is not fair to the children or your successor.  If you do decide to pop in for a visit, don't go back to the children's area until after church.  If you go there before service starts, it can be difficult for the leader to get the children's attention again and can disrupt the service flow.  After service, is a much better time to connect with everyone.

These are a few things that I've learned over the years.  Transitioning can be a challenge, but when God calls us to a new position, He will also lead us through the transition. 

Until next week!

Music and Motions...

I love music.  I was a music major in college.  I know how powerful it can be as a teaching tool.  And I love using motions in music.  Not everyone does and that's ok.  We must all lead worship the way that works best for us.  But I want to share why I feel motions are so important in children's worship.

Motions help memorization in young learners
When I lead worship, I have children as young as 3 and as old at 12 in the service.  That means that a large group of the children in the service either can not read yet, or can not read fast enough to follow the words on the screen.  Motions help them remember the words to the song.  I tend to use the same motion for certain words in nearly every song we do.  So, for example, if we do a motion for "Jesus" in one song, it will probably be the same motion in another song.  The same goes for words like "Mighty", "Strong", or a lot of other common phrases in music.  Those who can not read, can remember those motions and it helps them to learn the music.

Motions create more freedom in worship
How many times have you been sitting in an adult worship service and you don't feel like you can even lift your hands in praise because...well...no one else is lifting their hands.  We feel like we must fit a certain mold when we sing.  Motions encourage movement.  It's not just "dancing", it's freely using our bodies in worship.  Children NEED to move and using motions gives them that opportunity, but still in a somewhat structured way.

Motions teach leadership skills to older children
I know that probably sounds like an odd thing to say, but it's true.  As kids get older, sometimes they start to feel like they are "too old" for motions.  But this is an opportunity to teach them about being leaders.  It's not about "THEM".  The younger kids need the motions in order to learn and remember the songs (see above) and the older kids need to be involved so that the younger kids don't feel out of place or strange for enjoying the motions. Our older kids need opportunities to be examples of leadership and this is just such an opportunity.


I am a huge advocate of motions in music.  There is something special that happens when the right motions are put to a song.  All of the sudden that song is even more powerful, but "pointless" motions can have the opposite effect on a song.  I once did a musical where we had to redo nearly every motion in every song because they literally did not go with the words being sung.  In order for them to be helpful, they need to apply.  If you are trying to sing about being joyful, then making a frowning face is not going to be a good choice.  But neither is jumping up and down for "joy" appropriate if the song is slow.  Which motions you choose are as important as which song you choose.  So, when creating motions for your music, make sure they add to the worship experience and not just fill space in the song.

If done properly and prayerfully...motions in music can be a huge asset to your ministry.

Until next week!

Our Faith Still Holds...Even When Our World is Rocked

It's easy, when you are the one in charge, to feel like you must always have it together.  And to some degree we do.  After all, we need to be prepared, we need to be able to make changes on the fly, we need to be able to roll with the punches that come on any given Sunday and sometimes that means keeping our cool when we'd really rather blow our stack.  Those are the normal situations that we all need to be prepared for in order to do our jobs.

But then there are other times...times when something happens that will knock your world for a loop and when it does, it's ok for the kids to see your emotions.  Sometimes they will be good things.  We don't mind sharing the good stuff with the kids in our department.  When you are expecting a new baby in the family, if you achieve a milestone you've been working hard to reach, or when you are given a fun surprise we enjoy sharing those moments with the children and those we work along side in ministry.  But sometimes, it's not a good thing.  It's something that hurts us deeply like the loss of a family member or a scary diagnosis.  It's ok for the children to see that you are hurting too.  I'm not a counselor, but in my opinion, it's good for them to see how we react to such news.  Why?  Because they will have good and bad times in their own lives and seeing how other Christians walk through those times is a powerful witness.

Several years ago, I was living in California and I received the news that a beloved Great Aunt had passed away.  She lived several states away and I knew that there would be no way that I would be able to attend the funeral.  I was crushed by her passing.  Then it just so happened that on the day of her funeral, I was to lead a weekly Chapel for the school in our church.  I couldn't bring myself to lead the music, so I asked someone else to do that for me, but I  decided that I would bring the lesson.  And that day, through tears, I told those children about my Great Aunt and what an impact she had made on my life.  You see she was a Christian too, and I told them how even though she had been ill for a long time, it had never taken away her love for Jesus or her love for other people.  The kids could see that I was hurting, but wanted them to know that I was sad for me...not for her.  That she was in heaven enjoying a reward she richly deserved and that I wanted to be a light that shined for Jesus as brightly as hers had shined.

Children live in a world that likes to blame God for any pain they endure, and I want my witness to be that God walks through those painful times with us.  They also live in a world that likes to forget God when times are good and I want them to see that He is with us during those times as well.  I'm not saying that we need to share everything that goes on in our lives with the children, but when something rocks our world...they need to know that those things do not rock our faith.  At least, that's my opinion.

Until next week.