There will be rain...but God is bigger than the rain.

"Into each life some rain must fall."  That is from a song sung by the Inkspots in 1944, but my Mom used to say it to me when I was growing up.  It generally would be said when things were not going my way and I was being a bit of a brat about it.  But, it's a true statement.  In life, there will be times of rain.  Times when things just don't go the way you planned.  When something happens that throws you for a loop.  Leading during those times can be difficult because our focus can easily be on ourselves...and in some ways it needs to be. 

Rain can come in many forms.  It can be an unexpected big expense that you have to find a way to afford (like a car or home repair).  It can be a family crisis like an extreme illness or death.  It could even be a job change or some other life transistion.  Sometimes the rain is annoying but not overwhelming.  Sometimes it comes in huge torrents that you're not sure how you will ever get through.  The only thing we can be sure of is that in life, there will be rain.  And we still have to lead even in the midst of that rain. 

So what do we do when the rain hits?  Here are a few things I've learned from my own rainstorms:

1)  Don't forget your time with God
When the rain comes, it can be easy to get so focused on whatever the problem is that we neglect our time with the Lord.  And when the rain feels torrential, sometimes it seems like it's all we can do to get through the day...But keep your focus on the One who is bigger than the rain.  Depending on what is going on in your life, you may not be able to form the words you want to say, but that's ok.  Sometimes just being in His presence is enough.  Lean on Him.  Let His strength be your strength.  He won't let you down. 

2) Don't try to go it alone
Sometimes, in ministry, we feel like we are islands.  But we are not.  Share your burden with your spouse, or if like me, you're not married, share with a friend or family member.  Sometimes just hashing out an issue with someone you trust can change your whole perspective. You don't have to publicly share your pain on Facebook, but you should share it with a trusted confidant. 

3) It's ok for your congregation to know you are hurting
In the past 7 months, I lost both my Grandfather and Grandmother.  And it has been a process to deal with the grief of their passing.  In fact, I'm still grieving, but my church family was amazing. My Grandfather's passing was unexpected and quick and my church family hugged me and prayed for me during those shocking days.  Then five weeks later, my Grandmother's death came after watching her weaken for 10 days in the hospital.  On the day she passed, several people from my church showed up to the hospital, gathered around me and prayed.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.  In the days and weeks that followed, they were a constant source of strength during a very trying time.  We pastors don't always share all the things going on in our lives with those in our ministry, but there are times when it is appropriate to let the congregation know our hearts are hurting.  Let them be the hands and feet of Jesus during those difficult times in your life.

4) Don't be afraid to get professional help when it's needed.
Sometimes, it takes more than advice from a friend or spouse when the rain is falling particularly hard.  In those times, don't be afraid to reach out to a Christian counselor or therapist.  As Pastors, it is not uncommon for us to refer people to get counselling during particularly difficult times in their lives and sometimes we need to take our own advice.  It is much better to reach out for help than to continually struggle without improvement. 

Rain will come, but Praise the Lord that He is with us in the midst of the rain.  And in the words of that great Gaither song, and He will sustain us "till the storm passes by."   

Helping Grieving Families...

This past Friday my Grandmother passed away.  I had lived with her for the past two and a half years.  She went into the hospital on July 3rd and then suffered a massive heart attack two days later.  After 12 total days in the hospital she passed away.  This is the first time I have ever been through an experience such as this and it has been an extremely difficult couple of weeks.  But there have been some wonderful people who stepped up to care for our family in some very simple ways.  I thought I would share some of those ways this week. 

Snacks are a blessing...
For several days, my Grandma was in hospice care at the hospital.  We would eat in shifts, but times would come where we really didn't want to leave and it was such a blessing to have snacks like fruit, chips, veggies, animal cookies, and etc in the room to snack on.  The hospice folks were wonderful and kept us stocked in coffee, drinks and a few snacks, but those other treats that were shared with our family meant a lot during those days.

When you offer to help, be specific
We had people who constantly offered to help us in any way we needed and it was such a blessing.  However, what I noticed was that most of time, my mind simply didn't work very well and if you asked me if I needed anything, I would automatically say, "No, I'm fine. Thank you."  And usually I didn't need anything.  But occasionally someone would say something like, "Would it be ok if we brought you dinner?" or "Would you like me to check on your dogs?" and then that would trigger something in my mind and I would realize that that would be very helpful.  But it wouldn't have occurred to me unless they had mentioned it.


Check in often
During our days at the hospital with Grandma, a few people would text me every day just to see how we were.  Sitting in that hospital room would make for long days and though not everyone could come to visit, just getting a text telling me they were praying meant so much.  More than I can even put into words.  

Pray
There was literally nothing that anyone could do during the time we sat by my Grandma's bed and waited for her to enter Glory.  But lots of people were praying for us and it was such a comfort.  We had messages on Facebook, text messages, phone calls and personal visits that continually reminded us that others were walking this road with us and carrying us to the Father when we had run out of words ourselves.   

These last few days have been incredibly difficult, but these few kindnesses have made all the difference in making what could have been nearly unbearable...bearable.  When any of the families in your church go through something like this, I'm sure these same kindesses would be a blessing to them as well.

Until next week... 

An Unusual Week

This week's blog will be a bit different.  We had a death in my family on Thursday evening and it has taken a bit of a toll on me.  My Grandfather was 84 and sadly he had not been very much a part of my life for the last few years.  However, his passing has been much more difficult than I expected.  Grief snuck up on me in ways I simply wasn't prepared for.  Indeed, I fell apart over a cup of coffee in a restaurant early Sunday morning because it reminded me of a memory with Grandpa from days gone by. 

However, I am reminded that in everyone's lives there will be difficult days.  The children we work with have them, the volunteers who work with us have them, and we will have them.  During those days it is important that we remember where our strength comes from.  Yesterday, I sat down and wrote a poem trying to find the words to help me work through the feelings that were stirring within me. Now, I am by no means a poet.  In fact, outside of an assignment for school, this may be my first poem.  However, God spoke to me through that activity and I thought that I would share it with you all.  I hope it brings you, during your difficult days, at least in small measure the comfort if has brought me.

Next week I'll be back to the regular Tuesday's Tips.