What is a Family Service?

There seems to be a misconception among those outside Children's Ministry as to what a Family Service really entails.  Most Pastors that I have talked to assume that it is a service that caters to the children and therefore will not be as thought provoking or challenging to adults.  This could not be more wrong.

However, for most Pastors, a family service means the following:
  
The children are in the main sanctuary.  
There will be one part of the service that is especially for them (sermon in a sack, object lesson)
A few or all of the children might sing a song or be a part of a choir song
There may be a packet that they work on that goes along with the sermon
Some kids might even help with the ushering duties. 

That is what most Family Sunday's look like across the country (including mine) and those are good.  Kids need to be a part of a regular morning worship service and be witness to what the Lord is doing among the larger body.  It is important that children are in such services and I am in no way devaluing them.  BUT, that is not a FAMILY Service.  It is a Sunday Morning where we are aware that children are in the room so we have made slight changes to the regular order to help them be a part of the ADULT Service, but it is not a true FAMILY service. 

 A true Family Service ministers to the entire family equally.  From children to grandparents, all are included and all are involved.  And not just a little here and there, but literally engaged and involved throughout the entire service.  It is no wonder that there is confusion because many people have never been in such a service.  And I will be the first to tell you that they are truckloads of work to put together.  No exaggeration, I usually want at least 6 months to plan a Family Service and get all the pieces and people in place for it. (It could be put together faster, if your church does them fairly often, but if it is "new" it's going to take much longer to put together.)  However, when you do a true FAMILY service...it is amazing.  Everyone is a part.  Everyone is engaged and God can move in mighty ways.  So what does it look like?

Many people will be involved on the platform.
The Music led will connect across the generations. 
The Bible won't just be read, but it will come alive in some fashion.
Multiple techniques will be used to reach all types of learners (touch, visual, auditory, etc)
The Lesson/Sermon will be taught and reinforced throughout the service in various ways
Multimedia tools will be utilized.
Those in the congregation will be encouraged (but not forced) to participate 
No part of the service is specifically set for any age group, but all age groups are engaged  throughout the entire time. 
The Word of God is taught in unexpected and memorable ways.

Do you see the difference?  A true family service is for the entire FAMILY of God.  Not a "kid's service", not "adult church", not even "teen oriented".  It is for everyone equally.  And if you are willing to put in the work to put one together for your church...they can be absolutely amazing.  If you'd like more information about Family Services or would like to see an outline of one I have led in the past, let me know.  I'd be glad to share.

Until next week!  

Theology is important

There are people who think that kids are too young to understand theological concepts or to understand the sacraments.  But if they are taught in a way that is simple enough for them to understand, they can and they should learn them.  Now, I'm not saying that you have to start a full out theology class in your Children's Department, but including some basic teachings can be great!  Lessons on Baptism, Sanctification, the Altar, Communion, and more have been huge blessings in my department.  Here are few things I've used and found helpful in my own teaching.

Keep is simple
I know lots of pastors and theologians who love to talk about the minutia of theology.  But if we want anyone outside the clergy to be interested in it, we need to keep it simple.  Take one concept and then make it as simple as possible.  Children don't need to understand everything at once, so small bites are best. For example, about a year and a half ago, I did a lesson on what an Altar is and why they are important to us.

        Simple concept to start from: Altars are places where sacrifices happened.  So if it is going to be an altar, something has to die.  
         Relating the lesson: (I GIVE UP)  When we go to an altar, we are going there to give up something.  It might be to ask for forgiveness for a sin or maybe we are giving up something that God has told us is not good for us.  But, we go to the altar to let go of something in our lives.  That something has to "die."  So, though we don't do animal sacrifices on altars anymore, we are still using them as places to let go of those things that hinder us in our lives. The altar is a place where we give up the things that keep us from God.  

Make it interesting
For many people, when they hear that you are going to be studying theology, their eyes start to glass over because they are just convinced that theology MUST be boring.  But theology is simply the study of God and God is NEVER boring, so don't let your teaching be dull.  If you don't find what you are teaching interesting, neither will your kids.  Find an object lesson, use a game, or plan a craft, but do something to make the lesson stand out.

Make the lesson fit their lives.
Anything we teach has to connect with the lives of the children we are teaching.  It doesn't do much good for them to learn about God if they don't see how what they are learning affects their lives.  To go back to the altar lesson I mentioned above, it was important that they see that while the altar was used for sacrifices in the Old Testament, that it was still important today because we are still sacrificing things on them.  They are special, not because of what they are made out of or because of where they are placed, but because they are places where we go to give up the things that keep us from God. 

Check out your Denominational Resources
Some denominations (mine included) have lessons available that can help you teach some theological topics like Communion, Baptism, Salvation, and more.  Check out the tools that are available to you and then make them your own.  Not all lessons fit all kids, but most lessons can be changed to fit any group with a little extra work.  

I love helping kids understand what we believe and why we believe it.  I hope this is helpful for you as well.  
Until next week! 



 
   

Never Stop Learning

One thing all Children's Pastors have in common is that we are busy.  We can easily get lost in all that needs to be done.  However, if we want to be effective in our ministries, we need to keep learning.  There are always new techniques for teaching, new musical groups to check out, and more training to be had.  We may not be able to stay on top of everything, but it is important that we do what we can to stay current.  Here are a few ways to keep up without overloading your schedule even more than it is already.

Subscribe to a Magazine 
There are some great Children's Ministry Magazines out there.  I highly suggest you subscribe to one and then when it comes, take a couple hours to check it out.  It's an easy way to learn about things that are bombarding our kids, find out about a new VBS, or even get some needed encouragement.  You might check out KidzMatter Magazine or Children's Ministry Magazine.   Both are just full of great information!

Attend a Conference or Workshop
There are lots of Children's Ministry Conferences...in fact there are so many it can be a bit overwhelming.  Especially when you start looking at the price of the conferences.  However, there are are some great ones that you can attend that won't break your budget.

CMConference.  This is the most affordable national conference I have ever found.  Even if you register late, it is less than $200 and it is AMAZING.  There are scholarships available so it really is affordable for everyone.

If you are Nazarene (like me), you should watch to see if there will be a SPARK in your area.  This is an amazing 3 day conference and full of awesome workshops and lots of fun.  It is growing across the country, so check out the Equip to Engage website to see if there is one near you.

Group also offers a variety of training you can check out.

If you keep your eyes open, you are bound to find a conference or workshop that fits your needs and your budget.

Blogs and Books
There are lots of blogs and books out there that you can easily access.  I like to check out blogs because they are bite size pieces of information and easily accessible.  But if someone tells you they enjoyed a certain book, check it out.  Personally, I am looking forward to reading "I Blew It" by Brian Dollar because I believe we learn more from things that didn't work than we do the things that go smoothly.   I've also heard great things about "Sticky Faith" by Dr. Kara Powell and Dr. Chap Clark and it too is on my "to read" list.

As for blogs, I am partial to the Imagine Family Ministries blog by Rev. Jill Waltz.  She always has wonderful articles as well as really useful resources.  I also enjoy checking out Children's Ministry Blog Daily Journal put out by GJ Farmer, the Children's Ministry Daily Paper put out by Commander Bill, and the blog journal by Corey Ray Jones.  All three of those blogs are set up like daily newspapers and are full of awesome content.

Choose what works for you, but keep learning.  If we let ourselves get stale, we will no longer be the effective ministers that God expects us to be.

Until next week!

Rewards...

There is a very old argument in Children's Ministry and it's all about prizes.  Are they ok?  Should they be used?  Should everyone get one.  Should they be candy?  If you asked a large group of Children's Pastors these questions, you would probably get lots of answers.  Some would be adamantly for using prizes and some would be just as adamantly against using them and some would be in the middle.  I am only one person, but I have served in several churches of various sizes and cultures and below you will find my thoughts on the subject.

Are Prizes Ok to use?
Sure!  I say, if you want to use prizes in your ministry feel free.  But, be aware that they do not work in every ministry setting, so figure out what will work best for you.  Some places a small prize that you can give out often (like candy or stickers) is best and other places one large prize that the kids really have to work for is better.  Also check your budget.  If you have not set aside funds for prizes, then I wouldn't suggest using them unless you plan to purchase them with your own funds.  Every church is different and every group of kids is different so see what is going to work best for your group before you make your decision.

Should I use candy as a prize? 
Personally, I love using candy as prizes.  Mostly I use it if I don't know the kids very well.  For example, from time to time I will speak at a Family Camp or a Kids Revival.  Usually those kids don't know me well and I may need a hook to get them invested right away.  For me, I tell them that they need to pay close attention to all that is going on because I will randomly ask a question and if they get it right, I will "chuck candy at them."  They get a kick out of my throwing it across the room...mostly because I have terrible aim and it rarely gets where it's supposed to go without help from the kids.  In my own church, I don't use it as often.  Occasionally I will hand it out after a service just as a treat before they leave.  If you do decide to use candy, be very aware of any children with allergies and have alternatives for them.  Some gummy snacks, goldfish type crackers, or even a fun pencil make good alternatives. 

Does everyone get a prize?
Not always.  In my church, we often have teams and all service the teams will compete for points.  The winning team gets to choose a prize.  I actually have 3 prize baskets.  One has larger prizes (generally costs $1-2 per prize), one has very small prizes, and one has candy.  Some weeks the winning team is the only one to get a prize.  Some weeks the winning team will get a bigger prize, second place gets a small prize and everyone else gets a piece of candy.  Some weeks no one gets a prize.  I am inconsistent about this on purpose.  Too often kids get into a "I deserve a prize" mentality.  The lesson focus can get lost with the thoughts of possibly getting a prize.  So sometimes, we don't do prizes.  It's not to be mean.  It's to keep the prizes as something that is a fun surprise and not something that is just expected.  

Prizes can be a fun addition to your classes, but it's important that they are just that...fun.  If they become the only thing the kids are coming to class for, then we need to do some revamping of the rest of the curriculum.  Prizes can't be our linchpin in ministry to children.  Your service should be as engaging to the kids without the prizes as it is with them.  That way, if you do give any out, it's a treat...not an expectation.   At least, that's the way I view them.

Until next week! 

Reading your Congregation...

Reading your congregation is one of the most important things we need to learn to do in ministry.  Have you ever been in a service where the speaker is "fired up" about what he/she is saying, but one quick scan around the room tells you that everyone else is ready to head home?  It's easy to be so excited about what you are doing or what you've planned to miss the cues that those listening to you might give, but it is important that we keep watch for those cues.  They will tell us what we need change, if we are connecting with our listeners, or if we are losing them.  And it's something that we need to be aware of no matter the age group we are leading.  Here are a few key things I've found to watch for:

Fidgeting:
Granted with you work with kids, there is going to be a bit of fidgeting.  It's just part of being a kid.  But if they simply can't sit still...and it's more than just the normal one or two kids who struggle to sit still, you may be losing their attention.  Try to change up what your saying (maybe use and accent or funny voice for a moment), insert a quick moving game where they get to stand or stretch for a minute, or even give a two minute break where they can get their wiggles out.  But constant fidgeting may mean you've lost their attention so do something to get it back.

Clock Watching
People who constantly watch the clock, or kids who constantly ask the time, may be ready to leave.  They have other things they want to do and sometimes they have had all the "learning" they can take at the moment.   My Dad has this awesome line that I think he got from a professor years ago and I love it.  He says, "The mind can only absorb what the seat can endure." It's so true.  You can only sit for so long and then you will do about anything to change positions.  Clock Watching can be a sign that the "seat has endured all it can," so you need to finish up quick.  Now if you are leading a children's service sometimes the Pastor goes longer than you, but it's ok.  Finish your service and then do something fun while they wait for their parents to arrive. (Side note: If the child asking the time is new to your group, they may be nervous about being left behind...reassure them that the people who brought them will be back to get them.)

Chatting 
Do you have chatty kids in your department?  Sometimes it's because they are just very social kids but sometimes, especially if it happening with children who normally are not chatty, it's because they are bored or don't like the activity happening at the moment.  If you have difficulty getting the kids to focus during a particular song, perhaps they just don't like that song.  Remove it from your rotation for a while and see if there is a change.  If they are constantly chatting and not listening during the craft activity, maybe you take away the craft for a time and see if the problem improves.  Simply take note of the activity happening when the "chattiness" begins and see if a change in that activity brings a change in behavior.

These are not all the things you will see from your congregation, but if you've not been reading your congregation, perhaps they will help you begin to do so.  They've been helpful for me.

Until next week!  

Our Faith Still Holds...Even When Our World is Rocked

It's easy, when you are the one in charge, to feel like you must always have it together.  And to some degree we do.  After all, we need to be prepared, we need to be able to make changes on the fly, we need to be able to roll with the punches that come on any given Sunday and sometimes that means keeping our cool when we'd really rather blow our stack.  Those are the normal situations that we all need to be prepared for in order to do our jobs.

But then there are other times...times when something happens that will knock your world for a loop and when it does, it's ok for the kids to see your emotions.  Sometimes they will be good things.  We don't mind sharing the good stuff with the kids in our department.  When you are expecting a new baby in the family, if you achieve a milestone you've been working hard to reach, or when you are given a fun surprise we enjoy sharing those moments with the children and those we work along side in ministry.  But sometimes, it's not a good thing.  It's something that hurts us deeply like the loss of a family member or a scary diagnosis.  It's ok for the children to see that you are hurting too.  I'm not a counselor, but in my opinion, it's good for them to see how we react to such news.  Why?  Because they will have good and bad times in their own lives and seeing how other Christians walk through those times is a powerful witness.

Several years ago, I was living in California and I received the news that a beloved Great Aunt had passed away.  She lived several states away and I knew that there would be no way that I would be able to attend the funeral.  I was crushed by her passing.  Then it just so happened that on the day of her funeral, I was to lead a weekly Chapel for the school in our church.  I couldn't bring myself to lead the music, so I asked someone else to do that for me, but I  decided that I would bring the lesson.  And that day, through tears, I told those children about my Great Aunt and what an impact she had made on my life.  You see she was a Christian too, and I told them how even though she had been ill for a long time, it had never taken away her love for Jesus or her love for other people.  The kids could see that I was hurting, but wanted them to know that I was sad for me...not for her.  That she was in heaven enjoying a reward she richly deserved and that I wanted to be a light that shined for Jesus as brightly as hers had shined.

Children live in a world that likes to blame God for any pain they endure, and I want my witness to be that God walks through those painful times with us.  They also live in a world that likes to forget God when times are good and I want them to see that He is with us during those times as well.  I'm not saying that we need to share everything that goes on in our lives with the children, but when something rocks our world...they need to know that those things do not rock our faith.  At least, that's my opinion.

Until next week.   

Misunderstanding Children's Worship

It's unfortunate, but often people will look at what we do and think of it as "less than" church.  As if it is not as important, or has less teaching value than what happens in the adult service.  But that is simply not so.  And it is important that you know that it is not so.  Children's Ministry is hard work and when anyone belittles that hard work it is discouraging.  So this week, I want to show you something that I think you will find interesting.

If you look at the graph above, you will see the various parts of a worship service.  You will also see how many of those parts are generally found in a Children's Worship Service and how many are generally found in an Adult Worship Service.  This is not to say that Children's Church is better than Adult worship, but simply to point out that there are more aspects to it.

Recently, someone let me know that they didn't feel that adults would feel like they had been in church if they were in a Children's Worship service as opposed to an Adult Worship Service.  I was incredibly offended by that remark simply because, in my opinion, if the adults who help in Children's Church are not also being ministered to in a service, then I have not done my job.  The service is geared for the children, but the teaching should fit any age group.

We are ministers of the Gospel.  We have been entrusted with teaching the most easily molded and trainable group of people within the church.  People often forget that most people form what they will believe for their lifetime before the age of 14 and that puts a massive responsibility on our shoulders. 
Don't allow those who really do not understand what you do, to make you feel less important than any other parts of the church.  All the parts of the church are important and we are all a part of the Body of Christ.

I hope you know that what you do is making a huge impact on the Kingdom.  Thank you for the important work that you do.  Thank you for giving to children.